Each morning at 5am, my daytime counterpart comes in. we deal with basic small talk ( I like working with her), the we go over what we call “the turn over.” A “turn over” is simply going over in detail all the activity from my shift, so that she is aware of what happened. We do the same thing at 5 pm.

This morning, I sat there, looked at her, and said “I keep trying to come up with creative ways to say, nothing happened, but I got nothing. So here it is. Nothing happened.”

I have thought about this all day.

As it relates to faith, I’ve found, I have looked for creative ways to make Jesus cool, so others would come over to my way of thinking. Never could do it. Never could get people to by what I was selling.

The reason is simple. People in my life still died, my day still sucked, I still got mad, I still argued with my wife, I still dealt with unrealized expectations. Outside looking in, being a Jesus follower had not sheltered me from the pain and aggravation of life.

There seems to be an honesty missing about faith today. I mean really. So much attention has been given to alcohol, gay marriage, politics, denominations, the economy and immigration, it looks like to me, that we are throwing out a theory of faith rather than truth.

Faith is not shelter from the storm. How can we expect to be exempt from personal tragedy and effects from a fallen world? We can’t.

Being a Christ follower has not deferred me from being brought into situations not of my making nor my concern. Nor has surrendering to a life of service guaranteed me a life of economic ease and comfort.

I still feel empty from time to time. But I know I’m not. I still want to punch a guy for being rude. But I don’t. I still feel lonely, but I know I’m not alone. I still crave things from my past, but don’t satisfy that thirst. I still feel guilty for past actions, but know I’m forgiven.

Faith is not at all about looking for creative ways to tell the folks at he garden club, or the Sunday School class that things are great, and trying to get them to be like you.

Faith is dealing with the craziness and hurt of life, taking it on the chin, feeling like the walls are gonna cave in and KNOWING that this is not what defines me. It is He that has determined my worth. I lean on Him. Limp through the hard times. But it’s real. And it’s honest.

It’s funny to me, the things that get my attention.

Some things happened this past week that really got my attention. The events really did not have anything to do with me personally, other than they happened to people I love and care about. When they hurt, so do I. The biggest issue being lack of control. To realize that the outcome has absolutely nothing to do with any decision or action made by me, is well, difficult.

The funny thing is how it did affect me. Being mostly a selfish person, everything centers round me anyway. I found myself wanting to fix it. Explain it. Take away the hurt. Could not do it. Both situations have repercussions that must be dealt with. In once instance a friendship was lost. The things we say can hurt people. Perception is reality. And what people think is their reality.

So. because I had no control over these issues, I was reminded of who does.

Friendships are precious. Keeping one is hard work. We choose one over the other all the time. Posturing up to connect is a part of life. What you say matters. But so does forgiveness. We have control over one, but not the other.

Pain and frustration are part of everyday life. Without it, we woudln’t know about comfort. Without mistakes, we wouldn’t know about understanding.

I’d rather do without all the issues that tend feel like i’ve been punched in the gut. I’d really rather not deal with the pain that my loved ones go through.

Or, would I?

I feel alive. Not because of the pain, but in spite of it.

Neither of these situations will ever be the way it was before they happened. Certain innocence has been lost. Friends may never be restored.

But through it, I am reminded that I don’t have to go through it alone.

Gut punch and all.